Have you ever seen one of those sci-fi movies where astronauts land on a distant, barren planet with blasts of acidic wind screaming across the desolate landscape, and a ground made from shards of ice and rock? Yeah… welcome to Digg. If you think you’re brave enough to register… first read through from our advice on how to survive among the masses.

11. Throw away your sympathy card
Diggers are (by nature) cold-blooded, heartless, soulless creatures with no morals. If you want some e-hugs for losing your goldfish, reconsider your membership.

10. Learn to hate Microsoft
Remember when you were six years old and fell off your bike? It is Microsoft’s fault. Didn’t like your dinner last night? Blame Microsoft. Got herpes? Microsoft. Simple.

9. God is a figment of your imagination
The Digg userbase is predominately Atheist. Whenever Richard Dawkins sneezes, there’s a front page article about it. On Digg, evolution is not a theory, it’s a historical fact.

8. Long lists suck
The average digger has an attention span on par with an African Fruit Fly. If you see any list with over 20 items, it’s your obligation as a Digger to skip it without a Digg.

7. Don’t burn bridges
Unnecessarily calling out other diggers is a quick way to get blacklisted. Use your friends list on Digg to build a positive network, which is very beneficial when submitting articles.

6. Learn your meme’s
O rly? But does Chuck Norris blend in your base setting a trap that runs linux? Lollerskates!!

5. Thou shalt only speak praise of Ubuntu
“Have you lost weight? Haircut? Oh, no, you just installed Ubuntu on your laptop. Nice!” Ubuntu Linux is in, and if you don’t know about it, you’re not.

4. Forget your business classes
Digg users like fighting cell phone contracts, protesting lawsuits, abusing copyrights, and just about anything else to make a stand against corporate dominance.

3. Train your stomach
What a normal person would consider vile and disgusting, diggers bask in. For example, a top story might be about male bodily fluids in aMcDonalds milkshake (link).

2. George Bush is always wrong
If unsure about touchy political debates on digg, always default to Bush is wrong. He says send in more troops to Iraq? Your hero is whoever says to withdrawal from Iraq.

1. There is no website better than Digg
People say Apple has a cult-like following… I believe digg is worse. There is a huge population of diggers who are beyond dedicated, even going as far as vandalizing other sites that use similar technology.

There you have it. Study these simple bullet points and you’ll make it just fine on Digg.

Digg on!

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