I was just scanning through the Cingular Terms and Conditions found here: the cell phone service that brings sunshine to my day

And I found a paragraph that actually made me laugh out loud:

How’s that for SEO? Legally prohibiting anyone from linking to their homepage with any negative associations. My favorite part was “This limited right may be revoked at any time”… so they could suddenly decide you’re not allowed to link to their website anymore, and sue you? Hah

Edit: Wow, it seems Verizon is even worse:

Google is famous for their light-hearted attitude in an often boring corporate world. They regularly slip small easter eggs in their systems, like the Pi Symbol in Google Personalized Homepage, or an actual answer when you search for answer to life, the universe, and everything (if you don’t know, don’t ask)… however here’s another one in Google Maps I’d never seen before.

1. Head over to maps.google.com.
2. Click on “Get directions”
3. For the first textbox (where you’re coming from), enter “New York, NY”.
4. In the 2nd textbox (destination), enter “Paris, France”.

You’ll notice the map looks a little…. well, take a look for yourself (screenshot):

Then if you scroll down on the directions, take a look at number 23:

Oh Google, you’re so silly.

- Thanks to my amazing girlfriend Laura for pointing this out to me. I’m the computer guy, and she’s still showing me things on the internet I’ve never seen before.

Amazon is usually known for reasonably priced books or CDs, but some of the other high-priced items they carry may surprise you.

I stumbled across this site recently which has a large list of any and all high-priced items on Amazon, but in this post I’m only highlighting the ones I found particularly interesting.

How would you like to own your own, personal space suit for only a million dollars? Of course, if you got that, you’d also need your own $10 million space ship. With those you can bring back a $1 million space rock paperweight… a great addition to any office!

Read the reviews on the space rock, they’re pretty good.

People say BMWs have expensive parts (I drive an M3), but at least I don’t drive a Civic! They have to pay almost $900,000 for an aftermarket exhaust.

And I know Amazon sells a lot of random things like some auto parts (above)… but a full auto parts store?

If your a chemistry geek, Amazon has a great deal on a magazine subscription… only $6,000 per issue!

And of course, for the lady…. Amazon sells a certified, 7.12 carot, half-million dollar diamond.

This is what happens when geeks have too much free time.

I’m ashamed at laughing at this.

Another, even more geeky one, can be found here:
L33t Haxxors

Have you ever seen one of those sci-fi movies where astronauts land on a distant, barren planet with blasts of acidic wind screaming across the desolate landscape, and a ground made from shards of ice and rock? Yeah… welcome to Digg. If you think you’re brave enough to register… first read through from our advice on how to survive among the masses.

11. Throw away your sympathy card
Diggers are (by nature) cold-blooded, heartless, soulless creatures with no morals. If you want some e-hugs for losing your goldfish, reconsider your membership.

10. Learn to hate Microsoft
Remember when you were six years old and fell off your bike? It is Microsoft’s fault. Didn’t like your dinner last night? Blame Microsoft. Got herpes? Microsoft. Simple.

9. God is a figment of your imagination
The Digg userbase is predominately Atheist. Whenever Richard Dawkins sneezes, there’s a front page article about it. On Digg, evolution is not a theory, it’s a historical fact.

8. Long lists suck
The average digger has an attention span on par with an African Fruit Fly. If you see any list with over 20 items, it’s your obligation as a Digger to skip it without a Digg.

7. Don’t burn bridges
Unnecessarily calling out other diggers is a quick way to get blacklisted. Use your friends list on Digg to build a positive network, which is very beneficial when submitting articles.

6. Learn your meme’s
O rly? But does Chuck Norris blend in your base setting a trap that runs linux? Lollerskates!!

5. Thou shalt only speak praise of Ubuntu
“Have you lost weight? Haircut? Oh, no, you just installed Ubuntu on your laptop. Nice!” Ubuntu Linux is in, and if you don’t know about it, you’re not.

4. Forget your business classes
Digg users like fighting cell phone contracts, protesting lawsuits, abusing copyrights, and just about anything else to make a stand against corporate dominance.

3. Train your stomach
What a normal person would consider vile and disgusting, diggers bask in. For example, a top story might be about male bodily fluids in aMcDonalds milkshake (link).

2. George Bush is always wrong
If unsure about touchy political debates on digg, always default to Bush is wrong. He says send in more troops to Iraq? Your hero is whoever says to withdrawal from Iraq.

1. There is no website better than Digg
People say Apple has a cult-like following… I believe digg is worse. There is a huge population of diggers who are beyond dedicated, even going as far as vandalizing other sites that use similar technology.

There you have it. Study these simple bullet points and you’ll make it just fine on Digg.

Digg on!

For everyone who has ever had an evaluation - just remember, it could have been worse. These are actual quotes taken from Federal Government employee performance evaluations.

1. “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig.”
2. “I would not allow this employee to breed.”
3. “This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won’t be.”
4. “Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.”
5. “When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.”
6. “This young lady has delusions of adequacy.”
7. “He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.”
8. “This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.”
9. “This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better.”
10. “Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together”
11. “A gross ignoramus — 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.”
12. “He doesn’t have ulcers, but he’s a carrier.”
14. “I would like to go hunting with him sometime.”
15. “He’s been working with glue too much.”
16. “He would argue with a signpost.”
17. “He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.”
18. “When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.”
19. “If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one.”
20. “A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.”
21. “A prime candidate for natural de-selection.”
22. “Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.”
23. “Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.”
24. “He’s got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.”
25. “If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.”
26. “If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.”
27. “If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.”
28. “It’s hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.”
29. “One neuron short of a synapse.”
30. “Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.”
31. “Takes him 2 hours to watch ‘60-minutes’.”
32. “The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead”
33. “Got into the gene pool when the Lifeguard wasn’t looking”

Haha!!

I just saw this on College Humor and had to post it. Haha

A friend of mine sent me a collection of hilarious poor English translations on signs and such. Enjoy!

In a Bangkok dry cleaner’s:
“Drop your trousers here for best results.”

In a Tokyo bar:
“Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.”

In a Tokyo Hotel:
“Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please.  If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.”

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
“The lift is being fixed for the next day.  During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.”

In a Leipzig elevator:
“Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.”
Read the rest of this entry …

Go to Jet Blue’s website, select a destination then type pbj.

Instantly a clip from the Family Guy will appear and start playing.

It was probably made by some developer who thought no one would ever see it but him and his friends… yeah he just got fired, haha.

digg story

For over 100 years Wrigley’s Gum has contended the benefits of chewing were “just plain common sense”, however now Wrigley’s has decided to lau